I sometimes find it hard to distinguish between Kenyan men and Kenyan women because they both possess the same revolting traits. Kenyan women are loud, aggressive, and curse with every sentence. They drink so much alcohol and become abusive, just like their men, and fight with everyone and anyone they set their eyes on. Such a shame because you’ll never catch a Ugandan woman behaving in such a sordid manner.
Ugandan women are ladies…they ooze sophistication and etiquette in everything they do. One could easily discern a Ugandan lady at the rugby game, she was seated and sipping her wine in an elegant manner, unlike the Kenyans who were yelling and screaming and drinking beer as if the fairy god mother was turning all the beer to water in the next half an hour.
To appreciate the raw a deal we are getting from our women you have to go to Uganda and interact with their women.
Ugandan women take being a woman to another level. Forget that whole beaten path of kneeling down before their men and treating them like royalty.
That's not even as quaint as it sounds, that would appeal to guys who are weighed down by their ego. I'm talking about the little mannerism that makes these women the archetypal females in the region.
The difference between a Ugandan woman and a Kenyan one is like oranges and groundnuts. Ugandan women seem to have mastered the art of making men feel like men, even if they aren't men enough.
They have mastered the delicate art of managing their men's egos, of course with the invaluable hindsight that at the end of the day, they will have their way, not the men. An astute kind of cunning.
Of course most of these mannerisms might be largely rooted in the "Kingdom set-up" which dictated how women were expected to behave towards their men.
Although the power base still sits with women the world over, Ugandan women have made their men think that the power lies with them (men), and it hasn't cost them a thing. How hard can that be? How hard can it be to be gentle with men?
To be more understanding, to be more contained, to act with the dignity and respect that befits a self-respecting woman?
These women seem to largely embody these enviable qualities and I'm not basing this on some measly drink I had with two women, I'm basing it on my three-year-stay there.
However, it's not that Ugandan men are deserving of their women any more than we deserve ours, they (the men) aren't saints. They might be mild-mannered and less dramatic than Kenyan men but so was Dr Hannibal Lecter, the famous psychotic doctor who ate human liver in Thomas Harris novels.
One of my lady friends submits that Kenyan men are enthralled by Ugandan women because they are push-overs, that Kenyan men are so emotionally immature that they are incapable of handling a strong woman when presented with one. Maybe so. But at the end of the hoopla, when it comes right down to it, every man just wants a woman who isn't in his face (or his wallet).
Men just want to know that they are not straddled with a fire-breathing monster of a woman who won't cut him some slack.
The strength of Ugandan women, if you ask me is that they seem to have clearly recognized their role in a relationship and they do their part without keeping scores, without expecting a 12-gun salute.
If you are a Kenyan lady and are tired of being unwanted here are some tips for change:
- Speak softly, not everyone is deaf or at a club seated next to a speaker.
- Dress well: t-shirts and jeans are outdated. Invest in high heels and sexy wear.
- Stop drinking beer or whiskey…elevate your palate to wines and creams
- Learn to express yourselves without cursing, saying ‘fuck’ before every verb is annoying.
- Walk with your shoulders up and straight back…walking like a used condom shall lead you to being treated like one, flushed away or tossed out after use.
- Sex is not war, it’s an art. So vicious pelvic thrusts are a NO…take it easy and enjoy, take it slow my sister.