Monday, 29 October 2012


Dan is a spare part dealer in the popular Market in Kisumu. Although, he didn’t go to the university, he has tried so much to upgrade himself to fit into the circle of friends h
e has always desired to belong and mingle with. All through his life, he has struggled to move out from the poverty-stricken life he was born into by hustling to make a living. He has now attained a level of success in the society where his wealth has bought him a measure of respect among his peers. Even the so-called educated ones now respect him when he talks in their village town hall meetings.

One thing Dan desires more than anything right now is to marry a girl who went to the university. His friends have laughed and told him it was a pipe dream but he has vowed to make it a reality as soon as possible.

One day, a beautiful female banker, Lavender, walked into his shop and solicited him to open an account with her bank. He was so taken in by her beauty that he did not think twice before moving all his money from his former bank to the bank where she works.

After the transaction, he started making his interest known to her. Initially, she didn’t respond to his overtures, but after much persuasions and promises of more business transactions, she agreed to go out with him. Dan was so overjoyed and awed that such a lady agreed to be his girlfriend that he spends lavishly on her and fulfils her every whim. Whatever Lavender wants is what she gets. When he proposed, she said ‘’yes’’ but with conditions that he should buy her a car before they even go for marriage introductions.

He was about going to the car dealer shop to get the car when one of his close friends called him to order and asked him to open his eyes to the deceit of this girl. ‘‘Guy, you are being used by this girl. Have you made proper enquiries about her? I heard in the grapevine that Lavender is seen around town with one boy I was reliably told was her boyfriend during her university days. Please shine your eyes well,” his friend warned him.

Initially, he didn’t want to believe him, but when he sat back and put one or two things together concerning some strange behaviour Lavender had been exhibiting lately, he decided to investigate and find out for himself. He soon discovered things that shocked him to his bones. Lavender has been cheating on him with another man! She has been using him to meet her financial needs while engaged to marry her boyfriend. He felt so stupid and used. He should’ve been more careful to gauge her true feelings for him before lavishing her with gifts and money. It is truly a terrible feeling to realize that you are being used for material gain by people you hold in high esteem. It is even more painful when it comes from the person you love. The harsh reality facing the world right now is that a lot of people feel there is no point in being in a relationship if there are no fringe benefits.

Among the ladies in Kenya today, true love seems to have flown out of the window and replaced with so much greed and avarice for material possessions that men are finding it increasingly difficult to discover who loves them for real.

Here is my joker. If you want to find out whether you are being used in your relationship, just deprive your partner of that ONE THING and see how they react. Do they complain and leave or do they stay with you through thick and thin?

Guys listen; check out these signs that could help you know if she’s into you or just using you for selfish reasons:

• When she keeps you around ONLY for the things you do for her.

• When she stops picking your call because you didn’t give her the money to make her hair or buy a personal stuff. The truth is that a girl who genuinely loves you will be with you even when you are broke.

• She doesn’t talk about you to her close friends and relations. She keeps you around for what you can do as her personal ATM.

• If you spoil her and she doesn’t reciprocate by also giving, within her capacity. It means one person is gaining all the benefits of the relationship; if she does nothing for you at all, you need to move on.

• If she shows no interest in meeting your friends and family, it means she really has no invested interest in you as a complete person. Once again, she’s using you for what she needs and nothing more.

• When she does not show any desire to call you, respond to your calls or go out of her way to spend quality time with you unless you force her.

1 comment:

  1. nice piece aguy...this piece is reflective of the truth that is on the are blinded by what they see as we are perceived visual and do not look at the bigger picture.