Monday, 8 October 2012


Take him/her off that pedestal

First things first: Stop acting like your ex was God’s gift to men/women. She wasn’t perfect. If we’re being honest, she probably wasn’t even close. Make a list of his/her annoying traits. Let your buddies bad-mouth her. Do whatever you have to do....just take him/her off that pedestal.

Get closure

Step two for getting over your ex: get closure. If you’re going to break up with him/her, don’t put it off. Make sure you’re both on the same page. This is a breakup, not a “break.” The two of you are moving on, which means potentially seeing other people. If you feel the need to do a relationship postmortem, do it now. You won’t be seeing him/her again for a while.

Don't contact him/her

This may be the most important of our 11 tips for getting over your ex. After you’ve gotten closer, don’t contact him/her. Go cold turkey. Seriously. Maybe you said some crap about trying to stay friends, maybe you made some idiot vow to always be there for each other, but forget it. By staying in touch with old flames, you’re asking for months or years of on-again-off-again uncertainty. So, throw out him/her phone number, stop texting her and unfriend him/her on Facebook. Imagine how freaked out you'll be the first time you see some strange person in his/her profile picture, and you'll see why a clean break is essential.

Work out

Without a girlfriend gobbling up hours out of every day, you may be wondering what to do with yourself. Now that you’re single, we suggest hitting the gym or taking a jog. It’s a healthy way to work out all of that post-breakup frustration. Getting in shape is also a good way to boost your self-esteem. And don’t forget: The gym is a great place to new people.

Avoid her friends and the places she hangs

If you want to avoid the temptations that come with bumping into an ex, you might have to make some sacrifices. You might have to cut ties with some of your mutual friends. You might have to avoid some of your favorite haunts . Make the sacrifice for your peace of mind.

Throw away anything that reminds you of her

That dopey-looking teddy bear s/he gave you for your birthday, the sappy love letters s/he wrote, the adorable pictures of the two of you, throw them away. Throw it all away. The sooner you get all that junk out of your house the sooner you’ll him/her.

And before you ask, yes, it’s fine to keep items that don't evoke any emotional connections keep them. But clothes, jewelry, keepsakes, and the like should be ditched.

Don't try to get your stuff back

By the same token, you don’t want to try to get your stuff back. You can’t have a relationship relapse if you don’t allow yourself to see your ex. Forget about all that stuff you left at his/her place. Consider it gone. The money you’re going to have to spend to replace a few DVDs is a small price to pay to avoid an ex who could be either desperately needy or irrationally angry. 
Hang out with your friends 
One of the things you had to sacrifice when in a committed relationship was time with your friends. Girlfriends are notorious time-bandits, always greedy for more and more of your attention. But now that you’re single, you can reconnect with the buds you left behind. Not only will it be fun, but it will also be therapeutic because hanging out with your friends.

Exercise your new found freedom

Relationships are about compromise. Being single should be about doing whatever the hell you want. Look, you’ve ditched the ball and chain. You’re free. So stay out until four in the morning,  or just sit on your ass and watch basketball all day. Taking pleasure in all of those things that you couldn’t do  is a great way to get over your ex.

Remember the bad times

It’s pretty common for guys to idealize their significant others after a breakup. You’ll just be going about your business, and then, suddenly, you’ll remember an inside joke or a great date. Then you’ll grin, thinking about a cute personality quirk s/he had, and before long, you’re fantasizing about how great your sex life used to be.

Snap out of it. One of the most important of our 11 tips for getting over your ex is to remember the bad times. Focus on the fights and the problems. Recollect his/her bad habits and shady behavior. It’s like taking a cold shower.

Sleep with another person

The most foolproof method for getting over your ex is to sleep with another person. It’s the fastest and most efficient way to get an ex out of your system. One of the reasons I equivocate about leaving an ex behind is because no matter how confident we are we worry we won’t find someone new. That’s what sends us crawling back to our familiar, comfy, dysfunctional exes time and time again. Finding a new love interest, even for one night, is the best method of countering all those self-defeating thoughts.


Make sure your next partner is an upgrade

One last thing you want to be certain of is that your love life is moving in the right direction. If your rebound partner is a train wreck, you could end up moving backward and reconnecting with your ex, only to waste another year or two of your life on a relationship that’s doomed to fail. So be sure that your next partner is an upgrade.

1 comment:

  1. Wow1 just in time. Thank you so much. How fast does it work?