I don’t know where I would be
without my friends. As I’ve written before, I have
friends from a variety of different stages and places in my life: camp, first
hometown, second hometown, church, summer programs, semester programs, etc.
Some live farther away than others, some I’ve lost touch with and reconnected
again, I talk to some more often than others, but all of them are very important to me.
Put them on your to-do list
Friends are often one of the first
things we neglect when life gets busy. I definitely agree. Over the past year
of craziness in my life, I definitely haven’t made enough time for my friends.
But, remember: in this age of technology, a quick text message or e-mail to
check in is a great solution until you can find the time to call or meet up.
Also, try actually putting your friend’s name on your to-do list. It’s so
crazy, it just might work!
Be there in bad times, too
This one really speaks to me. “When her life sucks, you may not know what to say, but you don’t need all the right words. Just show up.” As someone who has gone through some pretty sucky stuff recently, I can’t tell you how important this is. There is a common misconception that when something’s wrong you always have to say something about it, but the truth is that not saying anything might be even better. Go out to dinner, watch a funny movie, shop, talk about gossip…just be there. You don’t have to say anything, just be there to support your friend, and if she wants to talk about whatever’s going on, she will. But, a couple words of advice: when someone’s going through a tough time, don’t say you’ll there for them if you won’t follow through. And, just because they don’t ask for help or support, doesn’t mean they don’t need it, in fact, in probably means they need it even more.
Don’t over-advice
Be careful when sharing your opinion
on something. There are times when friends just want you to listen, so don’t be
too quick to give your advice. If they ask you straight out what you think,
then give your honest opinion, but keep their feelings in mind.
Accept their weaknesses
We’re not perfect, and neither are
our friends. Recognize that certain people are better at certain things, and
deal with them accordingly. It’s okay to have certain friends who you don’t
share everything with, especially if they’re not so good with serious
situations. Look for their strengths and
the things you have in common that made you friends in the first place instead
of dwelling on the negative.
Be cash-conscious
The economy sucks, and it’s
important to realize that some of your friends may be more greatly affected
than you are. So, keep that in mind when you make plans. Maybe try having a girls night in instead of a girls
night out, or go out earlier so you can take advantage of drink deals. When
you’re giving gifts, try and find something useful and relevant, but don’t
focus too much on the price tag.
Look out for hthem–even when they
are not looking
Sites like Facebook and MySpace make
this one particularly relevant today. One of the examples they give in the
article is “tag only flattering
pictures of her.” Most of us probably don’t think twice when we post our
weekend pics, but maybe we should. Something may look funny to us, but if we
were the one in the picture, would we want it posted for the world to see? And,
stand up for your friends. If
you hear something bashing them, don’t just stand by and say nothing. Wouldn’t
you want them to do the same for you?
“The
best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on the porch and swing with, never
say a word, and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever
had.”
Friendships are relationships. They
grow and change with time. If you stop putting in the effort, chances are your
friend will too. It’s so important to
appreciate your friends. Blog about them, give them a Twitter shout out,
send them a goofy e-card to make them smile. Thank them for being there for you, and tell them how important they are
to you. If not now, when? You never know what tomorrow will bring. Just
remember that the little things go a long way.
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